We all seem to get to a time in life when Mummy can’t kiss it better and make it go away, so we can go off playing happily again; we are left alone in the playground of life, unhappy and scared of who, or what, has hurt us.
The ego – which is our survival instinct – will tell us that it is everybody else who is out to make our lives a misery, (because we understand our motives, we have justified our behaviours to ourselves and, naturally, our ego totally agrees with us), so we automatically turn the blame on life, other people, bad things happening to us for absolutely no reason, or we just put it down to bad luck. Some people have it worse than others, some people don’t seem to struggle at all. Some people really get stuck in the sinking sand of life and can’t get out. Mummy might not be able to help, but there is Prozac and Diazepam, oh and counselling, but none of those ever helped me……..
When I reached this stage I knew that I had to start helping myself, no-one else was able to – they didn’t feel the way I did, they couldn’t understand. When we get this way we have to go deep within ourselves, because the only other answer is to try and change pretty much everyone else in the world, and that, needless to say, is impossible.
Much of the way we act and think is a result of our upbringing; we are influenced in our early and teenage years through experiencing other peoples’ attitudes, beliefs and behaviours. We get to the point when we know exactly what our parents think (if we have parents), the doctrines they believe in, and the fears they have which they often pass on to us, and let’s face it, at 16 we are pretty bored and unimpressed by them – we all know that familiarity breeds contempt – yeah, yeah, yeah Dad, whatever!….
And our friends are SO cool, yeah? Even though they do some weird stuff. And why shouldn’t I show I can move the boundaries and be different from previous generations? I’m young and strong, I know I am in control. And so, the experimenting begins, which then, on a subconscious level, beyond the outside bravado, slowly starts to sow seeds of guilt, worry and shame. We all know the kind of things I am referring to……….
We can also easily waste many years in completely unsuitable relationships which then add layer upon layer of criticism, and disdain, from people who don’t really love us; we begin to think we are not good enough, we start to really feel the mistakes we’ve made, we may even settle for a really unhappy relationship just because we will have someone in our life, even if it means pain and hurt in big quantities – we just need those rare but glorious days when somebody tells us they love us. Because we need approval and probably reassurance that we are worth something to somebody.
Some of us are brought up to be completely selfish, so that everything we do is for ourselves only; taught that we are gods in our own right and we can’t do anything wrong. Is that going to affect our love life, work relationships and view of the world? Of course it is. And if people don’t really get on with us, well, isn’t that a big fat sign that we are not in a good place? It’s more likely that we will say it is everyone else who’s in the wrong.
Supposing we have been brought up to believe we should live our life simply to get the approval of other people as a validation that we are good? Many people are in this situation, and they will spend their life trying to impress people who don’t give a flying f**k for anyone else, it’s a thankless task. It’s a hard world out there. There are also many people who feel they should get what they want in life without making any effort because well, the world owes them, right? It ain’t going to happen.
What we are talking about, here, is how we all collect all sorts of negative energies, that sit inside us – anger, guilt, shame, arrogance, sadness, regret, loss of self esteem and misplaced pride in varying degrees depending on who we have come across in our lives. We project outwardly what we are feeling inside and, if that is not good, then we are not going to keep the positive people around us that can help us be happy.
Energies attract like energies. If we are negative, unhappy, unloved, uncared for, we sit in a virtual bath of misery with the level being topped up by bad luck, misfortune and eventually by hate and cynicism too, and it will continue that way until we change the bathwater.
There is probably, a movie or a book that we can all identify with….Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, A Wonderful Life, To Kill a Mockingbird…….evil versus good, dark versus light, hate versus love. Well, here’s the news – the negativity in our lives is a force which needs to be replaced by the opposite force, positivity. It’s as real as that! It is a battle we are faced with and we are the hero/heroine. We need to learn how to fight it and expel the dark forces from our life.
How is it done? Well, that’s down to the individual. Firstly, we need to examine what we want to be. We need to forgive ourselves for past mistakes and learn from them – this is why life throws challenges and opportunities at us – if we do not change in the way we behave, the same challenges will keep occurring until we ‘get it’. If we don’t ‘get it’, nothing changes, we are stuck in a never ending cycle of the same problems. It really isn’t any use saying ‘Why does it always happen to me?’ we need to say ‘This ain’t going to happen to me again!’. Then make sure it doesn’t.
I’ve been in the ‘dark’ place and have come out shining because I have learnt to put a gag on my ego so I can hear what the universe, and the people in it, are telling me. I try using different ways of fixing my problems if the first solution doesn’t work. Yes, some people think I am ‘wacky’ and sort of laugh at me, and they are still reluctant to ‘hear’ what I know to be true. I feel sorry for a lot of people who haven’t got control over their own ego, or their lives, because it is blinding them to the truth and this is a battle I have fought many times: my ego now knows when to shut up (mostly) – it is really domineering.
There are plenty of ways of losing the negative and accentuating the positive, as the old song goes, and they are worth exploring. It might just be mind over matter – but who cares, if it works? There are many wonderful, positive, alternative therapies in the world that can certainly help create a new and positive outlook. Tarot is one of them, meditation is another, some natural remedies have helped me overcome basic illnesses. I refuse to let people, or situations, faze me anymore, and I refuse to be frightened by the media into sickness and sadness.
In terms of misery I got myself out of that playground without my Mummy, because I am grown up now and can make it all better myself. I can’t change the world, but I can change my attitude to live the best life I can with the resources I have got, and I wouldn’t change that for the World. I did need help but I chose aspects of many alternative ideas that worked for me. I take bits from all different therapies and beliefs, and apply them to my life, because one of the things I have learned is that no one method is 100% perfect for everyone. We are all different, we must adapt. This is the age of Aquarius – it is time to wake up to what really works for us, not just do as we are told, and, in my opinion, this is not ‘wacky’ it’s wicked and the best fun ever!
I don’t know everything, and certainly not about all the alternative healing methods that are available, but I do know tarot and tarot is good.
Love and Light